I may not have been able to write then--or I may; but I did know enough to recognise the flagrantly, the indecently bad, and, upon my soul, the idea that I, too, must cynically offer this sort of stuff if I was ever to sell my tens of thousands very nearly sent me back to my solitude.

Callan had begun very much as I was beginning now; he had even, I believe, had ideals in his youth and had starved a little.

It was rather trying to think that perhaps I was really no more than another Callan, that, when at last I came to review my life, I should have much such a record to look back upon.

It disgusted me a little, and when I put out the light the horrors settled down upon me.
I woke in a shivering frame of mind, ashamed to meet Callan's eye.

It was as if he must be aware of my over-night thoughts, as if he must think me a fool who quarrelled with my victuals.