You are not to suppose that I desired perfection, either of mind or person.

I longed only for what suited me--for the antipodes of the Creole: and I longed vainly.

Amongst them all I found not one whom, had I been ever so free, I--warned as I was of the risks, the horrors, the loathings of incongruous unions--would have asked to marry me.

Disappointment made me reckless.

I tried dissipation--never debauchery: that I hated, and hate.