And I know what carried me on"-- for a good reason now occurred to him--"I wanted to be the savior of my family and all that kind of thing.

I wanted them to get on in the world.

That was a lie, of course--a kind of self-glorification, too.

Like most people, I suppose, I've lived almost entirely among delusions, and now I'm at the awkward stage of finding it out.

I want another delusion to go on with.