The ennui of peace, did I say?
Soon I had no fear of its depressing effect, for Mary Stuart was one of those women near whose fascinations peace does not thrive.

When I found her at the chateau, my martial ardor lost its warmth.

Another sort of flame took up its home in my heart, and no power could have turned me to the wars again.
Ah! what a gay, delightful life, tinctured with bitterness, we led in the grand old chateau, and looking back at it how heartless, godless, and empty it seems.

Do not from these words conclude that I am a fanatic, nor that I shall pour into your ears a ranter's tale; for cant is more to be despised even than godlessness; but during the period of my life of which I shall write I learned--but what I learned I shall in due time tell you.
While at the court of Guise I, like many another man, conceived for Mary Stuart a passion which lay heavy upon my heart for many years.

Sweethearts I had by the scores, but she held my longings from all of them until I felt the touch of a pure woman's love, and then--but again I am going beyond my story.
I did not doubt, nor do I hesitate to say, that my passion was returned by Mary with a fervor which she felt for no other lover; but she was a queen, and I, compared with her, was nobody.