You are overwrought and perhaps over-anxious.

Husband Jonathan would not like to see you so pale, and what he like not where he love, is not to his good.

Therefore for his sake you must eat and smile.

You have told me about Lucy, and so now we shall not speak of it, lest it distress.
I shall stay in Exeter tonight, for I want to think much over what you have told me, and when I have thought I will ask you questions, if I may.

And then too, you will tell me of husband Jonathan's trouble so far as you can, but not yet.