I was quite thunderstruck; and hurrying into my berth again, told one of my messmates, whom I awakened out of his sleep, what had happened.

Then dressing myself, I went up the fore-hatchway, and saw what he had told me was but too true; and again, I asked some of the people, who were under arms, what was going to be done with the captain, who was then on the larboard side of the quarter-deck, with his hands tied behind his back, and Mr.Christian alongside him with a pistol and drawn bayonet.

I now heard a very different story, and that the captain was to be sent ashore to Tofoa in the launch, and that those who would not join Mr.Christian might either accompany the captain, or would be taken in irons to Otaheite and left there.

The relation of two stories so different, left me unable to judge which could be the true one; but seeing them hoisting the boats out, it seemed to prove the latter.
'In this trying situation, young and inexperienced as I was, and without an adviser (every person being as it were infatuated, and not knowing what to do), I remained for awhile a silent spectator of what was going on; and after revolving the matter in my mind, I determined to choose what I thought the lesser of two evils and stay by the ship; for I had no doubt that those who went on shore, in the launch, would be put to death by the savage natives, whereas the Otaheitans being a humane and generous race, one might have a hope of being kindly received, and remain there until the arrival of some ship, which seemed, to silly me, the most consistent with reason and rectitude.
'While this resolution possessed my mind, at the same time lending my assistance to hoist out the boats, the hurry and confusion affairs were in, and thinking my intention just, I never thought of going to Mr.Bligh for advice; besides, what confirmed me in it was, my seeing two experienced officers, when ordered into the boat by Mr.Christian, desire his permission to remain in the ship (one of whom, my own messmate, Mr.Hayward), and I being assisting to clear the launch of yams, he asked me what I intended to do?
I told him, to remain in the ship.

Now this answer, I imagine, he has told Mr, Bligh I made to him; from which, together with my not speaking to him that morning, his suspicions of me have arisen, construing my conduct into what is foreign to my nature.
'Thus, my dearest mother, it was all owing to my youth and unadvised inexperience, but has been interpreted into villany and disregard of my country's laws, the ill effects of which I at present, and still am to, labour under for some months longer.