Tharupon he approaches the consumptive stranger: "'You-all seems plenty ailin', pard,' says Ugly Collins.
"'Which I shore ain't over peart none,' retorts the stranger.
"'An' you-all can put down a bet,' returns Ugly Collins, 'I learns of your ill-health with regrets.

It's this a-way: I ain't had no exercise yet this evenin'; an' as I tracks in yere, I registers a vow to wallop the first gent I meets up with to whom I've not been introdooced ;--merely by way of stretchin' my muscles.

Now I must say--an' I admits it with sorrow--that you-all is that onhappy sport.
It's no use; I knows I'll loathe myse'f for crawlin' the hump of a gent who's totterin' on the brink of the grave; but whatever else can I do?
Vows is vows an' must be kept, so you might as well prepare yourse'f for a cloud of sudden an' painful vicissitoodes.' "As Ugly Collins says this he kind o' reaches for the invalid gent where he's camped in a cha'r.

It's a onfortunate gesture; the invalid--as quick as a rattlesnake,--prodooces a derringer, same as Doc Peets allers packs, from his surtoot an' the bullet carries away most of Ugly Collins' lower jaw.
"'You-all is goin' to be a heap sight more of a audience than a orator yereafter, Collins,' says Doc Peets, as he ties up the villain's visage that a-way.

'Also, you oughter be less reckless an' get the address of your victims before embarkin' on them skelp-collectin' enterprises of yours.