All that night my thoughts would revert to the above question.

My life past since I had become a devotee of the 'demon of strong drink,' passed in review before my mind.

What had I gained?
How improved?
What had I obtained by it?
And the answer was nothing.

Then I asked myself, What had I lost by it?
And the answer came to me with crushing force, everything that maketh life desirable.

Starting out young in years into the busy highways of the world, with a good fortune, bright prospects and a host of friends to aid and cheer me on, I had lost ALL in my love for strong drink, and at times I thought and felt that I was a modern Ishmael.
"The lady, the next morning, again returned to the attack, and then, not thinking it an insult, but a benefit, to be conferred on me, I yielded a willing acquiescence.