Now, the other people who lived in the direction that the water courses run, just raised their bristles and continued saying that there is a north and there is a south.

When those at the head of the water courses come out furiously mad, to coerce those in the direction that water courses run, and to make them take it back.
Well, they went to gouging and biting, to pulling and scratching at a furious rate.

One side elected a captain by the name of Jeff Davis, and known as one-eyed Jeff, and a first lieutenant by the name of Aleck Stephens, commonly styled Smart Aleck.

The other side selected as captain a son of Nancy Hanks, of Bowling Green, and a son of old Bob Lincoln, the rail-splitter, and whose name was Abe.

Well, after he was elected captain, they elected as first lieutenant an individual of doubtful blood by the name of Hannibal Hamlin, being a descendant of the generation of Ham, the bad son of old Noah, who meant to curse him blue, but overdid the thing, and cursed him black.
Well, as I said before, they went to fighting, but old Abe's side got the best of the argument.