Who knows its pain?
For pain it surely is when no sleep comes near you, and the every-day duties of life only weary you, and your sole desire is to dream over looks and words you cannot forget.

It is surely pain when a thousand doubts assail you, when you weigh yourself in the balance and find yourself wanting.
A hundred times each day I found myself wondering whether Sir John would think me good enough for his daughter.

She was not his heiress, I knew, for he had a son at college, but she was lovely, high-born, accomplished, and my one great puzzle was whether he would think me a good match for her.
Other doubts came to madden me.

Perhaps she was already engaged.

She had doubtless a number of admirers.