If he would only have brushed up his hair or turned up his collar, it would have been bad enough; but to know that that absurd figure was always gazing at me, and always in that demonstrative state of despondency, put such a constraint upon me that I did not like to laugh at the play, or to cry at it, or to move, or to speak.

I seemed able to do nothing naturally.

As to escaping Mr.Guppy by going to the back of the box, I could not bear to do that because I knew Richard and Ada relied on having me next them and that they could never have talked together so happily if anybody else had been in my place.

So there I sat, not knowing where to look--for wherever I looked, I knew Mr.Guppy's eyes were following me--and thinking of the dreadful expense to which this young man was putting himself on my account.
Sometimes I thought of telling Mr.Jarndyce.Then I feared that the young man would lose his situation and that I might ruin him.
Sometimes I thought of confiding in Richard, but was deterred by the possibility of his fighting Mr.Guppy and giving him black eyes.
Sometimes I thought, should I frown at him or shake my head.

Then I felt I could not do it.