At times I feel so tired that I throw down the pen in despair; but t is soon taken up again, and, like a pigmy Ant, it seems to have imbibed fresh vigour from its prostration.
I remember when the "King's Own" was finished, I was as happy as a pedestrian who had accomplished his thousand miles in a thousand hours.
My voluntary slavery was over, and I was emancipated.

Where was I then?
I recollect; within two days' sail of the Lizard, returning home, after a six weeks' cruise to discover a rock in the Atlantic, which never existed except in the terrified or intoxicated noddle of some master of a merchant vessel.
It was about half-past five in the evening, and I was alone in my after-cabin, quite alone, as the captain of a man-of-war must be, even when in presence of his ship's company.

If being sent to sea has been pronounced by the officers and men to be _transportation_, being the captain of the ship may truly be designated as _solitary confinement_.
I could not send for any one to whom I could impart the intelligence--there was no one whom I could expect to sympathise with me, or to whom I could pour out the abundance of my joy; for that the service prohibited.

What could I do?
Why, I could dance; so I sprang from my chair, and singing the tune, commenced a quadrille movement,--Tal de ral la, tal de ral la, lity, lity, lity, liddle-um, tal de ral la, tal-- "Three bells, sir," cried the first lieutenant, who had opened my door unperceived by me, and showed evident surprise at my motions; "shall we beat to quarters ?"-- "Certainly, Mr B--," replied I, and he disappeared.
But this interruption produced only a temporary cessation: I was in the height of "Cavalier seul," when his head popped into the cabin-- "All present, and sober, sir," reported he, with a demure smile.
"Except the captain, I presume you are thinking," replied I.
"Oh! no, indeed, sir; I observed that you were very merry." "I am, Mr B--, but not with wine; mine is a sort of intellectual intoxication not provided for in the Articles of War." "A what! sir ?" "Oh! something that you'll never get drunk upon, as you never look into a book--beat a retreat." "Ay, ay, sir," replied the first lieutenant; and he disappeared.
And I also beat a retreat to my sofa; and as I threw myself upon it, mentally vowed that, for two months at the least, I never would take up a pen.

But we seldom make a vow which we do not eventually break; and the reason is obvious.