10/18 I know she has had several little love-affairs. She is alone, but she will soon be leaning--yes, phantom or reality, man is not far from her. Most certainly, I no longer think as I used to do that it is a sort of duty to satisfy the selfish promptings one has, and I have now got an inward veneration for right-doing; but all the same, if that being came to me, I know well that I should become, before all, and in spite of all, an immense cry of delight. When she's no longer good for that she's no longer anything." She repeats, "You see--I'm nothing any more." Ah, she is at the bottom of her abyss! She is at the extremity of a woman's mourning! She is not thinking only of me. |