In a letter to his brother, written immediately after his return, he had said: "We must not talk of Sir Robert Calder's battle--I might not have done so much with my small force.

If I had fallen in with them, you might probably have been a lord before I wished; for I know they meant to make a dead set at the VICTORY." Nelson had once regarded the prospect of death with gloomy satisfaction: it was when he anticipated the upbraidings of his wife, and the displeasure of his venerable father.

The state of his feelings now was expressed in his private journal in these words: "Friday night (Sept.

13), at half-past ten, I drove from dear, dear Merton; where I left all which I hold dear in this world, to go and serve my king and country.

May the great GOD, whom I adore, enable me to fulfil the expectations of my country! and if it is His good pleasure that I should return, my thanks will never cease being offered up to the throne of His mercy.