"Had they known all," said he, "I do not think they would have bestowed thanks in that quarter, and neglected me.

I feel much hurt that, after the loss of health and risk of fortune, another should be thanked for what I did against his orders.

I either deserved to be sent out of the service, or at least to have had some little notice taken of what I had done.

They have thought it worthy of notice, and yet have neglected me.

If this is the reward for a faithful discharge of my duty, I shall be careful, and never stand forward again.
But I have done my duty, and have nothing to accuse myself of." The anxiety which he had suffered from the harassing uncertainties of law is apparent from these expressions.