John Colquhoun, an aged Dumbartonshire tenant, is asked by his laird on Lochlomond side, to stay a minute till he _tastes_.

"Now, John," says the laird.

"Only half a glass, Camstraddale," meekly pleads John.

"Which half ?" rejoins the laird, "the upper or the lower ?" John grins, and turns off _both_--_the upper and lower_ too.
The upper and lower portions of the glass furnish another drinking anecdote.

A very greedy old lady employed another John Colquhoun to cut the grass upon the lawn, and enjoined him to cut it very close, adding, as a reason for the injunction, that one inch at the bottom was worth two at the top.