"'Deed, sir," said the poor man, "the Bible tells ye that if ye resist the deil he flees frae ye, but if ye resist her she flees _at_ ye." A faithful minister of the gospel, being one day engaged in visiting some members of his flock, came to the door of a house where his gentle tapping could not be heard for the noise of contention within.

After waiting a little he opened the door, and walked in, saying, with an authoritative voice, "I should like to know who is the head of this house." "Weel, sir," said the husband and father, "if ye sit doun a wee, we'll maybe be able to tell ye, for we're just trying to settle that point." I have received from my kind correspondent, Rev.Mr.Hogg of Kirkmahoe, the following most amusing account of a passage-at-arms between a minister and "minister's man," both of them of the old school.

The minister of a parish in Dumfriesshire had a man who had long and faithfully served at the manse.

During the minister's absence, a ploughing match came off in the district, and the man, feeling the old spirit return with the force of former days, wished to enter the lists, and go in for a prize, which he did, and gained the _fifth_ prize.

The minister, on his return home, and glancing at the local newspaper, saw the report of the match, and the name of his own man in the prize-list.
Being of a crusty temper, he rang the bell in fury, and summoned John, when the following colloquy took place:--"John, how is this?
who gave you leave to go to the ploughing-match ?" "You were not at hame, sir." "Well, you should have written to me." "I didn't think it was worth while, sir, as we had our ain ploughing _forrit_[181]." "That may be; but why were you not higher in the prize-list?
I'm ashamed of you, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for being so far behind." John's patience had given way, and, in his haste he burst forth, "Indeed, I'm thinking, sir, that if ye were at a _preaching_ match, and five-and-thirty in the field, ye wadna come in for _onything_, let a-be for a fift'." Stories of humorous encounters between ministers and their hearers are numerous, and though often seasoned with dry and caustic humour, they never indicate appearance of bitterness or ill-feeling between the parties.