I will _not_ go to meet him.

I will be as indifferent as he! When he opens the door, I will not even look round, I will be too much immersed in the page before me.
"Her whole heart was in her boy.

She often feared that--" The door-handle is turning.

I _cannot_ help it! Against my will, my head turns too.

With no volition of my own--against my firmest intention--my feet carry me hastily toward him.