It had led me into many insincerities and artifices, which, though not justifiable by any creed, was entitled to some excuse, on the score of youthful ardour and temerity.

The true difficulty in the way of these confessions was the not having made them already.

Ludlow had long been entitled to this confidence, and, though the existence of this power was venial or wholly innocent, the obstinate concealment of it was a different matter, and would certainly expose me to suspicion and rebuke.

But what was the alternative?
To conceal it.

To incur those dreadful punishments awarded against treason in this particular.