I wanted to share in his occupations and views.

With all his ingenuousness of aspect and overflow of thoughts, when he allowed me his company, I felt myself painfully bewildered with regard to his genuine condition and sentiments.
He had it in his power to introduce me to society, and without an introduction, it was scarcely possible to gain access to any social circle or domestic fireside.

Add to this, my own obscure prospects and dubious situation.

Some regular intellectual pursuit would render my state less irksome, but I had hitherto adopted no scheme of this kind..