Under all the rush of the outer life, already sketched, these questions were working in my mind, their answers were being diligently sought.

I read a variety of books, but could find little in them that satisfied me.

I experimented in various ways suggested in them, and got some (to me) curious results.
I finally convinced myself that there was some hidden thing, some hidden power, and resolved to seek until I found, and by the early spring of 1889 I had grown desperately determined to find at all hazards what I sought.

At last, sitting alone in deep thought as I had become accustomed to do after the sun had set, filled with an intense but nearly hopeless longing to solve the riddle of life and mind, I heard a Voice that was later to become to me the holiest sound on earth, bidding me take courage for the light was near.

A fortnight passed, and then Mr.Stead gave into my hands two large volumes.