For," said he, "as flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad.

As to the first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of _Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, from the high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves.

It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only of low heels in the administration of the government, and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a _drurr_ than any of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about the fourteenth part of an inch).

The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other.

We compute the _Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is wholly on our side.