They say, yell ken, that I was playing in a theatre once, and that when the engagement was ended I gie'd photographs o' masel to all the stage hands picture postcards.

I called them a' together, ye ken, and tauld them I was gratefu' to them for the way they'd worked wi' me and for me, and wanted to gie 'em something they could ha' to remember me by.
"Sae here's my picture, laddies," I said, "and when I come again next year I'll sign them for you." Weel, noo, that's true enough, nae doot--I've done just that, more than the ane time.

Did I no gie them money, too?
I'm no saying did I or did I no.

But ha' I no the richt to crack a joke wi' friends o' mine like the stage hands I come to ken sae well when I'm in a theatre for a week's engagement?
I've a song I'm singing the noo.

In it I'm an auld Scottish sailor.
I'm pretendin', in the song, that I'm aboot to start on a lang voyage.
And I'm tellin' my friends I'll send them a picture postcard noo and then frae foreign parts.
"Yell ken fine it's frae me," I tell my friends, "because there'll be no stamp on the card when it comes tae ye!" Always the audience roars wi' laughter when I come to that line.