Compunction, self-upbraiding, hopelesness, satisfaction at the view of those effects likely to flow from my new scheme, misgivings as to the beneficial result of this scheme took possession of my mind, and seemed to struggle for the mastery.
"I had gone too far to recede.

I had painted myself to you as an assassin and ravisher, withheld from guilt only by a voice from heaven.
I had thus reverted into the path of error, and now, having gone thus far, my progress seemed to be irrevocable.

I said to myself, I must leave these precincts for ever.

My acts have blasted my fame in the eyes of the Wielands.

For the sake of creating a mysterious dread, I have made myself a villain.