He, who knew that he must have nothing for himself, had all unconsciously so set his heart upon this child of her mother that he could not give her up.

And now so fixed and so great was his love that he could not turn back.

He knew he was lost.

To cling to her would be to question, doubt, and to lose his faith.

To give her up would kill him.
But at least for a little while he could put it off..