"I have proved myself to be that most despicable thing, an unworthy minister.

I was tempted and I fell." The Rev.Mr.Calthrop seemed to find the sort of satisfaction in confessing his sins to the world that the medieval flagellants found in scoring themselves with whips; they struck their bodies; he drew forth his soul and beat it publicly.
Cleggett learned that he had set himself as a punishment and a mortification the task of obtaining his daily bread by the work of his hands.

It was his intention to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, refusing all assistance except that which he earned by manual labor.
After such a term of years as should satisfy all men (and particularly his own spiritual sense) of the genuineness of his penitence, he would apply to his church for reinstatement, and ask for an appointment to some difficult mission in a wild and savage country.

The Rev.Mr.
Calthrop intimated that if he chose to accept rehabilitation on less arduous terms, he might obtain it; but the poignancy of his own sense of failure drove him to extremes.
"Are you sure," said Cleggett sternly, "that you are not making a luxury of this very penitence itself?
Are you sure that it would not be more acceptable to Heaven if you forgave yourself more easily ?" "Alas, yes, I am sure!" said Mr.Calthrop, with a sigh and his calm and wistful smile.

"I know myself too well! I know my own soul.