Sometimes it seemed to me that this was done on purpose, that my wife feigned anxiety in order to conquer me, since that solved the question so simply for her benefit.

It seemed to me that all that she did at those times was done for its effect upon me, but now I see that she herself, my wife, suffered and was tortured on account of the little ones, their health, and their diseases.
"A torture to both of us, but to her the children were also a means of forgetting herself, like an intoxication.

I often noticed, when she was very sad, that she was relieved, when a child fell sick, at being able to take refuge in this intoxication.

It was involuntary intoxication, because as yet there was nothing else.

On every side we heard that Mrs.
So-and-so had lost children, that Dr.So-and-so had saved the child of Mrs.So-and-so, and that in a certain family all had moved from the house in which they were living, and thereby saved the little ones.