Know, then, that I consider these departures, these isolations, which young married couples arrange with the permission of their parents, as nothing else than a license to engage in debauchery.
"I saw, then, in this nothing bad or shameful, and, hoping for great joys, I began to live the honeymoon.

And very certainly none of these joys followed.

But I had faith, and was determined to have them, cost what they might.

But the more I tried to secure them, the less I succeeded.

All this time I felt anxious, ashamed, and weary.