I wasn't so drunk but that I saw her face change when she let me in.

She was disgusted.
"In the morning I was sick and feverish.

I was more than disgusted with myself.

I was in despair.

If she had hated me before--and she had said she did--what must she do now?
It seemed to me that I had sunk so far beneath her that it would take years to get back.