HOW I come not to have a last name is a question that has always had more or less aggervation mixed up with it.

I might of had one jest as well as not if Old Hank Walters hadn't been so all-fired, infernal bull-headed about things in gineral, and his wife Elmira a blame sight worse, and both of em ready to row at a minute's notice and stick to it forevermore.
Hank, he was considerable of a lusher.

One Saturday night, when he come home from the village in his usual fix, he stumbled over a basket that was setting on his front steps.

Then he got up and drawed back his foot unsteady to kick it plumb into kingdom come.

Jest then he hearn Elmira opening the door behind him, and he turned his head sudden.