She wished to pray for pardon.

She did try to pray.

Her mistress had told her it would "do no good for her to attempt prayer; prayer was for whites, not for blacks.

If she minded her mistress, and did what she commanded, it was all that was required of her." This did not satisfy her, or appease her longings.

She knew her instructions did not harmonize with those of the man of God or Aunt Abby's.