Have you a pair of eyes, Mr.Weller ?' 'Yes, I have a pair of eyes,' replied Sam, 'and that's just it.

If they wos a pair o' patent double million magnifyin' gas microscopes of hextra power, p'raps I might be able to see through a flight o' stairs and a deal door; but bein' only eyes, you see, my wision 's limited.' At this answer, which was delivered without the slightest appearance of irritation, and with the most complete simplicity and equanimity of manner, the spectators tittered, the little judge smiled, and Serjeant Buzfuz looked particularly foolish.

After a short consultation with Dodson & Fogg, the learned Serjeant again turned towards Sam, and said, with a painful effort to conceal his vexation, 'Now, Mr.Weller, I'll ask you a question on another point, if you please.' 'If you please, Sir,' rejoined Sam, with the utmost good-humour.
'Do you remember going up to Mrs.Bardell's house, one night in November last ?' 'Oh, yes, wery well.' 'Oh, you do remember that, Mr.Weller,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, recovering his spirits; 'I thought we should get at something at last.' 'I rayther thought that, too, sir,' replied Sam; and at this the spectators tittered again.
'Well; I suppose you went up to have a little talk about this trial--eh, Mr.Weller ?' said Serjeant Buzfuz, looking knowingly at the jury.
'I went up to pay the rent; but we did get a-talkin' about the trial,' replied Sam.
'Oh, you did get a-talking about the trial,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, brightening up with the anticipation of some important discovery.

'Now, what passed about the trial; will you have the goodness to tell us, Mr.
Weller' ?' 'Vith all the pleasure in life, sir,' replied Sam.

'Arter a few unimportant obserwations from the two wirtuous females as has been examined here to-day, the ladies gets into a very great state o' admiration at the honourable conduct of Mr.Dodson and Fogg--them two gen'l'men as is settin' near you now.' This, of course, drew general attention to Dodson & Fogg, who looked as virtuous as possible.
'The attorneys for the plaintiff,' said Mr.Serjeant Buzfuz.