The father and son sitting down opposite each other; Sam on one side of the fire, in the high-backed chair, and Mr.Weller, senior, on the other, in an easy ditto, they proceeded to enjoy themselves with all due gravity.
'Anybody been here, Sammy ?' asked Mr.Weller, senior, dryly, after a long silence.
Sam nodded an expressive assent.
'Red-nosed chap ?' inquired Mr.Weller.
Sam nodded again.
'Amiable man that 'ere, Sammy,' said Mr.Weller, smoking violently.
'Seems so,' observed Sam.
'Good hand at accounts,' said Mr.Weller.

'Is he ?' said Sam.
'Borrows eighteenpence on Monday, and comes on Tuesday for a shillin' to make it up half-a-crown; calls again on Vensday for another half-crown to make it five shillin's; and goes on, doubling, till he gets it up to a five pund note in no time, like them sums in the 'rithmetic book 'bout the nails in the horse's shoes, Sammy.' Sam intimated by a nod that he recollected the problem alluded to by his parent.
'So you vouldn't subscribe to the flannel veskits ?' said Sam, after another interval of smoking.
'Cert'nly not,' replied Mr.Weller; 'what's the good o' flannel veskits to the young niggers abroad?
But I'll tell you what it is, Sammy,' said Mr.Weller, lowering his voice, and bending across the fireplace; 'I'd come down wery handsome towards strait veskits for some people at home.' As Mr.Weller said this, he slowly recovered his former position, and winked at his first-born, in a profound manner.
'It cert'nly seems a queer start to send out pocket-'ankerchers to people as don't know the use on 'em,' observed Sam.
'They're alvays a-doin' some gammon of that sort, Sammy,' replied his father.

'T'other Sunday I wos walkin' up the road, wen who should I see, a-standin' at a chapel door, with a blue soup-plate in her hand, but your mother-in-law! I werily believe there was change for a couple o' suv'rins in it, then, Sammy, all in ha'pence; and as the people come out, they rattled the pennies in it, till you'd ha' thought that no mortal plate as ever was baked, could ha' stood the wear and tear.

What d'ye think it was all for ?' 'For another tea-drinkin', perhaps,' said Sam.
'Not a bit on it,' replied the father; 'for the shepherd's water-rate, Sammy.' 'The shepherd's water-rate!' said Sam.
'Ay,' replied Mr.Weller, 'there was three quarters owin', and the shepherd hadn't paid a farden, not he--perhaps it might be on account that the water warn't o' much use to him, for it's wery little o' that tap he drinks, Sammy, wery; he knows a trick worth a good half-dozen of that, he does.

Hows'ever, it warn't paid, and so they cuts the water off.