If only he had not run away! He could have let the sentinel walk up to him and then he could have told him of his intention.

The sentinel could only have been pleased by his endeavor to get rid of such an old superstition.
If only he had not run away! Oh, yes, now that Kurt was safely under cover and Bruno's breathing beside him spoke of his big brother's nearness, it seemed easy enough to act bravely! If only he had done it! The thing he could not explain to himself was how anybody could be so horribly tall.

That was hardly credible.

Kurt felt at bottom quite sure that it was impossible for anybody to look like that.
"If only I could have told mother about it!" he sighed.

But he felt dreadfully ashamed.