Twisdon?
Any relation of old Tommy Twisdon of the Sixtieth?
No?
Well, you see I'm Liberal Candidate for this part of the world, and I had a meeting on tonight at Brattleburn--that's my chief town, and an infernal Tory stronghold.

I had got the Colonial ex-Premier fellow, Crumpleton, coming to speak for me tonight, and had the thing tremendously billed and the whole place ground-baited.

This afternoon I had a wire from the ruffian saying he had got influenza at Blackpool, and here am I left to do the whole thing myself.

I had meant to speak for ten minutes and must now go on for forty, and, though I've been racking my brains for three hours to think of something, I simply cannot last the course.

Now you've got to be a good chap and help me.