Having satisfied myself that I had been deceived in the quantity of opium I had taken, I became also convinced that I had at last discovered the great antidote for which philosophy had exhausted its resources, the fabled Lethe, the oblivion of human sorrow.

The strong necessity of suicide had passed away; life, even for me, might be rendered tolerable by the sovereign panacea of opium, the only true minister to a mind diseased, the sought 'kalon' found.
"From that day I have been habitually an opium eater.

I am perfectly sensible that the constant use of the pernicious drug has impaired my health; but I cannot relinquish it.

Some time since I formed a resolution to abandon it, totally and at once; but had not strength enough to carry it into practice.

The very attempt to do so nearly drove me to madness.