His chief art lay in tickling the humor of rude, unlearned, and injudicious hearers." The following piece of Ellwood's, entitled "An Epitaph for Jeremy Ives," will serve to show that wit and drollery were sometimes found even among the proverbially sober Quakers of the seventeenth century:-- "Beneath this stone, depressed, doth lie The Mirror of Hypocrisy-- Ives, whose mercenary tongue Like a Weathercock was hung, And did this or that way play, As Advantage led the way.
If well hired, he would dispute, Otherwise he would be mute.
But he'd bawl for half a day, If he knew and liked his pay.
"For his person, let it pass; Only note his face was brass.
His heart was like a pumice-stone, And for Conscience he had none.
Of Earth and Air he was composed, With Water round about enclosed.
Earth in him had greatest share, Questionless, his life lay there; Thence his cankered Envy sprung, Poisoning both his heart and tongue.
"Air made him frothy, light, and vain, And puffed him with a proud disdain.
Into the Water oft he went, And through the Water many sent That was, ye know, his element! The greatest odds that did appear Was this, for aught that I can hear, That he in cold did others dip, But did himself hot water sip.
"And his cause he'd never doubt, If well soak'd o'er night in Stout; But, meanwhile, he must not lack Brandy and a draught of Sack.
One dispute would shrink a bottle Of three pints, if not a pottle.
One would think he fetched from thence All his dreamy eloquence.
"Let us now bring back the Sot To his Aqua Vita pot, And observe, with some content, How he framed his argument.
That his whistle he might wet, The bottle to his mouth he set, And, being Master of that Art, Thence he drew the Major part, But left the Minor still behind; Good reason why, he wanted wind; If his breath would have held out, He had Conclusion drawn, no doubt." The residue of Ellwood's life seems to have glided on in serenity and peace.

He wrote, at intervals, many pamphlets in defence of his Society, and in favor of Liberty of Conscience.

At his hospitable residence, the leading spirits of the sect were warmly welcomed.

George Fox and William Penn seem to have been frequent guests.

We find that, in 1683, he was arrested for seditious publications, when on the eve of hastening to his early friend, Gulielma, who, in the absence of her husband, Governor Penn, had fallen dangerously ill.