He had a weakness, he confessed, for the ladies; but except that, he hoped he might die so thin that he could shave himself with his shin-bone if he ever so much as took a pinch of salt that wasn't his own.
"However this might be, nothing could be better than the way Tim and I got on together.

Everything was in its place, nothing missing; and in fact, for upwards of a year, I went on wondering when he was to show out in his true colors, for hitherto he had been a phoenix.
"At last,--we were quartered in Limerick at the time,--every morning used to bring accounts of all manner of petty thefts in the barrack,--one fellow had lost his belt, another his shoes, a third had three-and-sixpence in his pocket when he went to bed and woke without a farthing, and so on.
Everybody save myself was mulet of something.

At length some rumors of Tim's former propensities got abroad; suspicion was excited; my friend Delany was rigidly watched, and some very dubious circumstances attached to the way he spent his evenings.
"My brother officers called upon me about the matter, and although nothing had transpired like proof, I sent for Tim, and opened my mind on the subject.
"You may talk of the look of conscious innocence, but I defy you to conceive anything finer than the stare of offended honor Tim gave me as I began.
"'They say it's me, Doctor,' said he, 'do they?
And you,--you believe them.
You allow them to revile me that way?
Well, well, the world is come to a pretty pass, anyhow! Now, let me ask your honor a few questions?
How many shirts had yourself when I entered your service?
Two, and one was more like a fishing net! And how many have ye now?
Eighteen; ay, eighteen bran new cambrie ones,--devil a hole in one of them! How many pair of stockings had you?
Three and an odd one.

You have two dozen this minute.

How many pocket handkerchiefs?
One,--devil a more! You could only blow your nose two days in the week, and now you may every hour of the twenty-four! And as to the trilling articles of small value, snuff-boxes, gloves, bootjacks, nightcaps, and--' "'Stop, Tim, that's enough--' "'No, sir, it is not,' said Tim, drawing himself up to his full height; 'you have wounded my feelings in a way I can't forget.