A pleasant fellow that for a mess that always boasted the best-looking chaps in the service.
"'What's to be done with him ?' said the major; 'shall we tell him we are ordered to India, and terrify him about his liver ?' "'Or drill him into a hectic fever ?' "'Or drink him dry ?' "'Or get him into a fight and wing him ?' "'Oh, no,' said I, 'leave him to me; we'll laugh him out of the corps.' "'Yes, we'll leave him to you, Maurice,' said the rest.
"And that day week you might read in the 'Gazette,' 'Pierce Flynn O'Haygerty, to be Ensign, 10th Foot, _vice_ Sparks, exchanged.'" "But how was it done, Maurice; you haven't told me that." "Nothing easier.

I affected great intimacy with Sparks, bemoaned our hard fate, mutually, in being attached to such a regiment: 'A damnable corps this,--low, vulgar fellows, practical jokes; not the kind of thing one expects in the army.

But as for me, I've joined it partly from necessity.
You, however, who might be in a crack regiment, I can't conceive your remaining in it.' "'But why did you join, Doctor ?' said he; 'what necessity could have induced you ?' "'Ah, my friend,' said I, '_that_ is the secret,--_that_ is the hidden grief that must lie buried in my own bosom.' "I saw that his curiosity was excited, and took every means to increase it farther.

At length, as if yielding to a sudden impulse of friendship, and having sworn him to secrecy, I took him aside, and began thus,-- "'I may trust you, Sparks, I feel I may; and when I tell you that my honor, my reputation, my whole fortune is at stake, you will judge of the importance of the trust.' "The goggle eyes rolled fearfully, and his features exhibited the most craving anxiety to hear my story.
"'You wish to know why I left the Fifty-sixth.

Now I'll tell you; but mind, you're pledged, you're sworn, never to divulge it.' "'Honor bright.' "'There, that's enough; I'm satisfied.