Well, I have been fortunate enough, within the very precincts of my own dwelling, to contribute a very wonderful fact to the history of the University; alone, unassisted, unaided, I labored at my discovery.

Few can estimate the pleasure I felt, the fame and reputation I anticipated.

I drew up a little memoir for the board, most respectfully and civilly worded, having for title the following:-- ACCOUNT Of a remarkable Subterranean Passage lately discovered in the Old Building of Trinity College, Dublin; With Observations upon its Extent, Antiquity, and Probable Use.
By F.WEBBER, Senior Freshman.
My dear O'Malley, I'll not dwell upon the pride I felt in my new character of antiquarian; it is enough to state, that my very remarkable tract was well considered and received, and a commission appointed to investigate the discovery, consisting of the vice-provost, the senior lecturer, old Woodhouse, the sub-dean, and a few more.
On Tuesday last they came accordingly in full academic costume.
I, being habited most accurately in the like manner, conducted them with all form into my bed-room, where a large screen concealed from view the entrance to the tunnel alluded to.

Assuming a very John Kembleish attitude, I struck this down with one hand, pointing with the other to the wall, as I exclaimed, "There! look there!" I need only quote Barret's exclamation to enlighten you upon my discovery as, drawing in his breath with a strong effort, he burst out:-- "May the Devil admire me, but it's a rat-hole!" I fear, Charley, he's right, and what's more, that the board will think so, for this moment a very warm discussion is going on among that amiable and learned body whether I shall any longer remain an ornament to the University.

In fact, the terror with which they fled from my chambers, overturning each other in the passage, seemed to imply that they thought me mad, and I do believe my voice, look, and attitude would not have disgraced a blue cotton dressing-gown and a cell in "Swift's." Be this as it may, few men have done more for college than I have.