You see in me the melancholy wreck of a once stalwart and magnificent manhood.

What has brought me to this?
That thing which you are about to tell.

Gradually but surely, that tiresome old anecdote has sapped my strength, undermined my constitution, withered my life.

Pity my helplessness.

Spare me only just this once, and tell me about young George Washington and his little hatchet for a change." We were saved.