He would order me to flee, to flee! God is in the voice of the Anio, which, since the evening of my departure from Jenne, has been saying: "Rome, Rome, Rome!" And God is also in the strength of the invisible worms, which have gnawed the vital virtues of my body.

Am I then to blame?
Am I then to blame?
Lord, hear my groan, which asks for justice! I have said many times that I will leave as soon as I am strong enough, but they wish to keep me here, and how can I say to them "My friends, you are my enemies ?" Behold my cowardice! Why can I not say so?
Why should I not say so?
One day I read in the young Protestant girl's glance the question: "If you go, what will become of my soul?
Should you not desire to lead me to your faith?
I will not yet allow myself to be led." No, I cannot, I must not write all.

How can I write the meaning of a glance, the accent of a word, commonplace in itself?
They are not such glances as drove St.Jerome to plunge into icy water, or at least my emotion does not resemble his.

Icy water is of no avail against a glance which is all sweet purity.

Only fire can prevail against it, the fire of the Supreme Love! Ah! who will free me from my mortal heart, whose faintest throb thrills all the fibres of my body?
Who will set free the immortal heart which is within it, like the germ of a fruit, preparing for itself a celestial body?
I cannot, I must not write all, but this, indeed, I will write: The Lord seeks to ensnare me, to entrap me! When I shall have fallen, He will deride me! Why did it happen that I wrote the Latin quotation about those who live and do penance between the Dead Sea and the desert, _"Sine pecunia, sine ulla femina, omni venere abdicata socia palmarum_," on that piece of paper, which on the other side bore words from J.D., words still hot concerning my past sin and hers, words reminding me of the most terrible moments?
How did a person so timid dare to force a secret communication upon me?
The wind has blown my window open.