And he felt his own minuteness in that past, spoiled by imperfect beliefs, influenced by the uprising of the senses, in the central depression of his life, which had been one vast tissue of sensuality, of weakness, of contradictions, of lies.

He felt his own minuteness in his life after his conversion, the impulse and work of an inner Will, which had prevailed against his own will, and during this last period it seemed to him, he himself had weighted the scales against the good impulse.

He longed to drop off this "self" which held him back like a heavy garment.

He saw that the affection for the Vision was part of this burdensome "self." He aspired to Divine Truth in all its mystery, whatever it might be, and gave himself to Divine Truth with such violence of desire that the spasm of it nearly rent him asunder.

And the stars shone forth upon him such a lively sense of the immeasurable vastness of Divine Truth as compared with his own and his friends' religious conceptions, and at the same time such a firm faith that he was travelling towards that vastness, that he suddenly raised his head from the pillow exclaiming: "Ah!" The sister was dozing, not so the Professor.
"What is it ?" said he.