I had, perhaps I had, but what's the use of my having had one, if it's just the same as though I hadn't.

There's an easy riddle for you.

Guess it!" she laughed.
"Where did you take your baby ?" "I took it to the pond," she said with a sigh.
Shatov nudged me again.
"And what if you never had a baby and all this is only a wild dream ?" "You ask me a hard question, Shatushka," she answered dreamily, without a trace of surprise at such a question.

"I can't tell you anything about that, perhaps I hadn't; I think that's only your curiosity.

I shan't leave off crying for him anyway, I couldn't have dreamt it." And big tears glittered in her eyes.