and I'm not such a gambler after all, and I'm not such a drunkard.

She reproaches me for not writing anything.

Strange idea!...

She asks why I lie down?
She says I ought to stand, 'an example and reproach.' _Mais, entre nous soit dit,_ what is a man to do who is destined to stand as a 'reproach,' if not to lie down?
Does she understand that ?" And at last it became clear to me what was the chief particular trouble which was worrying him so persistently at this time.

Many times that evening he went to the looking-glass, and stood a long while before it.