SAM SLICK, "Attache".
"Well, when the time comes, I rigs up, puts on the legation coat, calls a cab, and downs to Downing Street, and looks as dignified as I cleverly knew how.
"When I enters the outer door, I sees a man in an arm-chair in the entry, and he looked like a buster, I tell you, jist ready to blow up with the steam of all the secrets he had in his byler.
"'Can I see Mr.Tact ?' sais I.
"'Tell you directly,' sais he, jist short like; for Englishmen are kinder costive of words; they don't use more nor will do, at no time; and he rings a bell.

This brings in his second in command; and sais he, 'Pray walk in here, if you please, Sir,' and he led me into a little plain, stage-coach-house lookin' room, with nothin' but a table and two or three chairs in it; and says he, 'Who shall I say, Sir ?' "'The Honourable Mr.Slick,' sais I, 'Attache of the American Legation to the court of Saint Jimses' Victoria.' "Off he sot; and there I waited and waited for ever so long, but he didn't come back.

Well, I walked to the winder and looked out, but there was nothin' to see there; and then I turned and looked at a great big map on the wall, and there was nothin' I didn't know there; and then I took out my pen-knife to whittle, but my nails was all whittled off already, except one, and that was made into a pen, and I didn't like to spile that; and as there wasn't any thing I could get hold of, I jist slivered a great big bit off the leg of the chair, and began to make a toothpick of it.

And when I had got that finished, I begins to get tired; for nothin' makes me so peskilly oneasy as to be kept waitin'; for if a Clockmaker don't know the valy of time, who the plague does?
"So jist to pass it away, I began to hum 'Jim Brown.' Did you ever hear it, Squire?
it's a'most a beautiful air, as most all them nigger songs are.

I'll make you a varse, that will suit a despisable colonist exactly.
"I went up to London, the capital of the nation, To see Lord Stanley, and get a sitivation.
Says he to me, 'Sam Slick, what can you do ?' Says I, 'Lord Stanley, jist as much as you.
Liberate the rebels, and 'mancipate the niggers.
Hurror for our side, and damn thimble-riggers.
"Airth and seas! If you was to sing that 'ere song there, how it would make 'em stare; wouldn't it?
Such words as them was never heerd in that patronage office, I guess; and yet folks must have often thort it too; that's a fact.
"I was a hummin' the rael 'Jim Brown,' and got as far as: Play upon the banjo, play upon the fiddle, Walk about the town, and abuse old Biddle, when I stopped right in the middle of it, for it kinder sorter struck it me warn't dignified to be a singin' of nigger-catches that way.