[The Attache by Thomas Chandler Haliburton]@TWC D-Link book
The Attache

CHAPTER VIII
9/18

Oh, take your place, Squire, you have seen Liverpool; and if you see as much of all other places, as you have of this here one, afore you return home, you will know most as much of England as them do that never was there at all.
"I am sorry too, you won't go, Squire," added he, "for minister seems kinder dull." "Don't say another word, Mr.Slick," said I; "every thing shall give way to him." And locking up my writing-desk I said: "I am ready." "Stop, Squire," said he, "I've got a favour to ask of you.

Don't for gracious sake, say nothin' before Mr.Hopewell about that 'ere lark I had last night arter landin', it would sorter worry him, and set him off a-preachin', and I'd rather he'd strike me any time amost than lectur, for he does it so tender and kindly, it hurts my feelins _like_, a considerable sum.

I've had a pretty how-do-ye-do about it this mornin', and have had to plank down handsum', and do the thing genteel; but Mister Landlord found, I reckon, he had no fool to deal with, nother.

He comes to me, as soon as I was cleverly up this mornin', lookin' as full of importance, as Jube Japan did when I put the Legation button on him.
"'Bad business this, Sir,' says he; 'never had such a scene in my house before, Sir; have had great difficulty to prevent my sarvants takin' the law of you.' "'Ah,' sais I to myself, 'I see how the cat jumps; here's a little tid bit of extortion now; but you won't find that no go, I don't think.' "'You will have to satisfy them, Sir,' says he, 'or take the consequences.' "'Sartainly,' said I, 'any thin' you please: I leave it entirely to you; jist name what you think proper, and I will liquidate it.' "'I said, I knew you would behave like a gentleman, Sir,' sais he, 'for, sais I, don't talk to me of law, name it to the gentleman, and he'll do what is right; he'll behave liberal, you may depend.' "'You said right,' sais I, 'and now, Sir, what's the damage ?' "'Fifty pounds, I should think about the thing, Sir,' said he.
"'Certainly,' said I, 'you shall have the fifty pounds, but you must give me a receipt in full for it.' "'By all means,' said he, and he was a cuttin' off full chisel to get a stamp, when I sais, 'Stop,' sais I, 'uncle, mind and put in the receipt, the bill of items, and charge 'em separate ?' "'Bill of items?
sais he.
"'Yes,' sais I, 'let me see what each is to get.

Well, there's the waiter, now.


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