Nobody smokes, nobody talks, nobody plays cards, nobody fires at a mark, and nobody trades; only let me get thro' this juicy day, and I am done: let me get out of this scrape, and if I am caught agin, I'll give you leave to tell me of it, in meetin'.

It tante pretty, I do suppose to be a jawin' with the butler, but I'll make an excuse for a talk, for talk comes kinder nateral to me, like suction to a snipe.' "'Waiter ?' "'Sir.' "'Galls don't like to be tree'd here of a mornin' do they ?' "'Sir.' "'It's usual for the ladies,' sais I, 'to be together in the airly part of the forenoon here, ain't it, afore the gentlemen jine them ?' "'Yes, Sir.' "'It puts me in mind,' sais I, 'of the old seals down to Sable Island--you know where Sable Isle is, don't you ?' "'Yes, Sir, it's in the cathedral down here.' "'No, no, not that, it's an island on the coast of Nova Scotia.

You know where that is sartainly.' "'I never heard of it, Sir.' "'Well, Lord love you! you know what an old seal is ?' "'Oh, yes, sir, I'll get you my master's in a moment.' And off he sot full chisel.
"Cus him! he is as stupid as a rook, that crittur, it's no use to tell him a story, and now I think of it, I will go and smoke them black imps of darkness,--the rooks.' "So I goes up stairs, as slowly as I cleverly could, jist liftin' one foot arter another as if it had a fifty-six tied to it, on pupus to spend time; lit a cigar, opened the window nearest the rooks, and smoked, but oh the rain killed all the smoke in a minite; it didn't even make one on 'em sneeze.

'Dull musick this, Sam,' sais I, 'ain't it?
Tell you what: I'll put on my ile-skin, take an umbreller and go and talk to the stable helps, for I feel as lonely as a catamount, and as dull as a bachelor beaver.

So I trampousses off to the stable, and says I to the head man, 'A smart little hoss that,' sais I, 'you are a cleaning of: he looks like a first chop article that.' "'Y mae',' sais he.
"'Hullo,' sais I, 'what in natur' is this?
Is it him that can't speak English, or me that can't onderstand?
for one on us is a fool, that's sartain.