I went to scold my agent for having sent me to advise with a madman; he had stuck into his head the plume, which in more sober days he wielded between his fingers, and figured as an artillery officer.

My mercer had his spontoon in his hand, as if he measured his cloth by that implement, instead of a legitimate yard.

The banker's clerk, who was directed to sum my cash-account, blundered it three times, being disordered by the recollection of his military tellings-off at the morning-drill.

I was ill, and sent for a surgeon-- He came--but valour so had fired his eye, And such a falchion glittered on his thigh, That, by the gods, with such a load of steel, I thought he came to murder,--not to heal.
I had recourse to a physician, but he also was practising a more wholesale mode of slaughter than that which his profession had been supposed at all times to open to him.

And now, since I have returned here, even our wise neighbours of Fairport have caught the same valiant humour.