It had some infernal note of falseness somewhere, some miserable, hollow place where the sound of my own voice, when I tried to speak the truth, mocked me! I wonder if the smiles I gave, before I was able to speak at all, were only blarney?
I wonder, were they only from the wish to stand well with everybody, if I could?
It must have been that; and how much I meant, and how much I did not mean, God alone knows! "What a sympathy I have always had for criminals! I have always wanted, or, anyhow, one side of me has always wanted, to do right, and the other side has always done wrong.

I have sympathised with the just, but I have always felt that I'd like to help the criminal to escape his punishment.
If I had been more real with that girl in New York, I wonder whether she wouldn't have stuck to me?
When I was with her I could always convince her; but, I remember, she told me once that, when I was away from her, she somehow felt that I didn't really love her.

That's always been the way.

When I was with people, they liked me; when I was away from them, I couldn't depend upon them.

No; upon my soul, of all the friends I've ever had, there's not one that I know of that I could go to now--except my sister, poor girl!--and feel sure that no matter what I did, they'd stick to me to the end.